Growing Stronger in the Long War

Amen. Thank you for that good prayer. If you have your Bibles with you, let's turn to 1 Samuel chapter 3. We'll continue our study in the life of David and keep on plowing through 1 Samuel. I'm enjoying it. I hope y'all are because every time I open up the pages of scripture, especially in the story of Samuel, I get a taste of what real life is like. And you know, I love reading the Bible. I love the stories of triumph. The Bible's got a lot of them. you know, chapters in scripture that feel triumphant from the very beginning where where walls fall down, where giants die, where fire comes down and consumes the enemy, where trumpets sound, and where kings are crowned. Um, but then there's chapters like 2 Samuel chapter 3, and this chapter, as we're going to see today, if you haven't read ahead, it's messy. It's complicated. It's emotionally exhausting. It It's a chapter filled with arguments, rivalries, revenge, misunderstandings, ambition, funeral tears, and yet buried inside all of this human confusion. What we will see is the steady hand of God quietly moving history towards his purpose. And that's how grace often works. I emphasize that because sometimes I default to the position, I know that others do, that grace really reveals itself in those miracle moments and the dramatic moments and in the breakthrough and in the answered prayers. But what I see in this chapter, and I hope you will too, is that sometimes God does his deepest work while the battle is going on. And that's important because several of us are in a battle right now. 2 Samuel chapter 3 opens up with a nation that's still divided. Saul's house is still fighting David's house. The kingdom is fractured. Relationships are broken. Loyalties are colliding with God's new direction. And honestly, that sounds a lot like life. Because even after God has anointed David as king, conflict still exists. Even after God has spoken his promises, opposition still remains. Even after God has chosen the servant, there are battles that are still being fought. And some people think, and there's this kind of pernitious doctrine that floats around Christianity sometimes, that some people think if God is truly with you, everything will become easy. There is a best-selling book from the nation's largest mega pastor, your best life. Now, and it's got some good stuff in it. Um, but it's also got a lot of bad stuff. And we we need to be careful about some of the premises of the book because if you read the book, the premise is is God wants you to have a life that's marked by blessing, joy, confidence, emotional health, success, and personal growth right now. And um you can do it through positive biblical self-t talk.

Um, but the issue with the book is that it subtly shifts the focus from dependence on God to your personal happiness, from self-awareness to self-improvement, from sanctification to success. And here's the thing, the Bible never teaches any of that. Christianity will transform lives, but the center of Christianity is Christ, not your personal fulfillment. And so the sickness of prosperity gospel is that it teaches a faith that with positive confessions and and right attributes that they will reliably produce health and wealth and success. And anybody who's been around the sun a couple of times knows that sometimes that's not just the case. That sometimes people still die of cancer. Sometimes babies are still born with genetic issues. That sometimes divorces do occur and struggles do happen. And all the biblical positive self-t talk that you give yourself cannot change that fact. And so you know and here's the thing. The Bible teaches positive biblical self-t talk. It says in the book of Proverbs that the words are are the fruit of life and and and life and death are in the tongue. And it does tell us that faith affects outcome and behavior. But here's the thing. Scripture never teaches that God that we can consistently speak a reality into existence. And that's why it's infected Christianity because we start to think that way. And then when life doesn't go our way, we start to get down on ourselves and beat ourselves and we stop to we stop thinking about the Lord that we serve. Y'all, God is sovereign. And faithful believers will still experience, listen to me, faithful believers, faithful Christian believers, faithful, outspoken Christian believers will still experience sickness, loss, betrayal, poverty, martyrdom. So Paul had faith and yet it says that he had a thorn in the flesh. So sometimes the clearest evidence that God is moving is not the absence of a struggle, but it's the fact that you are still standing in the midst of the struggle. Let's jump in verse one. Now there was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. Stop, man. We just got a sermon right here. Now, we're going to go through the chapter, but this phrase preaches. I want you to notice the wording carefully. Now, there was a long war, not a short war, not a temporary tension, but a long war. And that phrase alone probably preaches itself to half the people in this congregation because some battles are not quick battles. Some struggles linger. Some illnesses take time. Some prayers take years. Some grief stays longer than expected. Some healing moves slowly. Some family wounds seem to stretch on for decades. There was a long war. And yet in the middle of the prolonged struggle, this is what the Bible says. And David waxed. Kids, that word waxed means that he gets stronger and stronger. It says, "And David waxed stronger and stronger." And the importance of that is David is not instantly stronger. He's growing stronger gradually in the midst of the struggle. Man, think about our God. And one of the wonderful things about our God is that he strengthens people progressively, not suddenly. And I know we all like our microwave miracles, right? Amen. Nobody y'all, just me. I'm the only sinner here. But God often God often strengthens his people progressively, not suddenly. He he works like a slow sunrise when when maybe you don't at the first moment notice the dawn, but if you hang out long enough, what you'll see is that it defeats the darkness. And the darkness eventually passes. And that's what's happening here. You can see a little bit of light, then more, and then more. And David doesn't have to manipulate the process. It was a long war. And in the middle of the war, he grew stronger and stronger. You're in a long battle. And in the middle of the battle, you can grow stronger and stronger. But be like David. Don't try to manipulate the process. He doesn't try to force the throne. He doesn't seize power unlawfully. He doesn't destroy Saul's family in revenge. Because David knows something that you and I too often forget. God is handling it. God had given him a promise. And and there is a tremendous peace that comes when you realize, you know what, can trust God because so many of us exhaust ourselves trying to help God out. We we push, we we manipulate, we scheme, we panic. Meanwhile, the Lord is like, "Yeah, you done with that yet? that attitude with that behavior. Let's try a little bit of trust. And so David's strength is increasing not because of human cleverness. David's strength is increasing because God's hand is on him. And then we go to verses 2 through five where they list out David's genealogy. And it kind of feels like a random genealogy, right? Just some names thrown in there. But this section, oh the grace, because this section reminds us that David's kingdom is growing and stabilizing. But even in the midst of this list, I don't know if you're catching it, but it quietly foreshadows future trouble because several of these sons will later become sources of heartbreak and central figures in some of the darkest moments of David's kingdom. Verse two, Amnan. Now, if you've read your Bible before, you know that in chapter 13, Amnan, who is the descendant, David's son by one of his wives, is going to force himself upon his halfsister, who is a descendant of David by another wife, halfsister by the name of Tamar. And that horrific act fractures David's household and ignites a chain reaction of violence. Then in the very next verse, we see Abselon who is Tamar's full brother and then he murders Amnan in revenge and later rebelss against David and steals the heart of Israel in rebellion. Then in the next verse we see Adonah who later attempts to seize the throne from David as his reign is coming to an end in first kings chapter 1. So these three people in these three verses, 2 Samuel chapter 3 lists these sons. And initially you read by it real quick and it sounds kind of celebratory. David's family's growing, his king's expanding, his dynasty is becoming established. But the experienced reader, the seasoned reader knows that there's future sorrow up ahead. And honestly, this tension is one of the Bible's most remarkable literary qualities. David's family is is growing, but the scripture is introducing a future tragedy long before it unfolds. And so, right here, the Bible's not presenting David's, and this is what I love about grace because you could be honest. The the Bible is not presenting David's household as idealized perfection. Man, that ought to be a stress relief for everybody in this room. None of us live in a perfect household. We all have issues. And even at the height of this blessing of these children, the seeds of future pain are are are already present. And that that kind of shows us a deeper spiritual truth that sometimes our greatest joy and our deepest griefs emerge from the same place. And sometimes blessings come wrapped in future burdens that we cannot see. For every young parent that's held a newborn child, guess what? There's going to be a little bit of future rebellion. Newlywed couples cannot even begin to imagine the conflict in their future. Church members can't imagine the future hurt that we'll all experience. And so remember this, that doesn't make the blessing any less real. It simply reminds us that every human story exists east of Eden because it was in Eden that we had perfection. It was in that garden. But one day sin came and we got kicked out east of Eden. And we've all grown up east of Eden in a world where even gracefilled lives, there's not a single life, even even gracefilled lives are touched by brokenness until the redemption. Only God sees the whole story. And that's important to me because that tells me, look, I need grace not just because of my past. I need grace today. and I need grace for the future because all of it is tainted by sin. Let's keep on going. Let's go down to verses 6 through 11. Because Abner Abner defects and Abnner was one of the soldiers. And it came to pass while there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David that Abner made himself strong. Underline this phrase for the house of Saul. what you're going to war and you're making yourself strong for the house of Saul. So here for the next five verses the text is going to shift to Abnner. Now Abner as you may have remember is Saul's military commander. Abnner powerful, influential, respected, but it says he made himself strong for the house of Saul. And that phrase is important because Abner was strengthening himself on behalf of a dying kingdom. Now, I know what some of you are thinking. That's stupid. The kingdom's dying, but people do it every single day. They invest themselves in their lives strengthening things that God has already rejected. They're investing themselves in their pride and their power and their image and their status, their bitterness and their control. Meanwhile, Saul's kingdom was fading, but Abnner was still trying to preserve it. And I want you to dig what Abner does? Verse seven. And Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizbah. And Ishbashef said to Abnner, "Hast thou gone and tie thy father's concubine?" Now, that accusation is massively important because in the ancient world, taking possession of your former king's concubine is symbolic of laying claim to the throne itself. So, this is not just a relationship drama. This is is political warfare. And Abner when he's confronted with it, he becomes furious. Then verse eight, then was Abner very wroth for the words of Ishbashef and said, "Huh, am I a dog's head which against Judah to show kindness this day into the house of Saul thy father to his brethren to his friends?" And he starts listing it out. And have not delivered thee into the hand of David, and thou charges me this day concerning the fault concerning this woman. Okay, do you pick up the irony here? Abnner had no problem supporting a divided kingdom against, dig this, God's anointed king. And he knew that David was anointed. He had no problem supporting a regime against God's anointed king. But suddenly when Ishbasheth says, "Hey, why are you sleeping with the concubine?" He gets all up in his feelings. Now you Abnner had no problem supporting the divine kingdom but his feelings are hurt when somebody questions him and that's just human right because sometimes we're blind you know to the biggest mistakes. We can see everybody else's mistakes but we're hyper sensitive when when small offenses are called out against us. Jesus talked about that. He talks about people who look at the beam, you know, they see a speck in somebody else's eye and they they're forgetting about the beam in their own eyes. So Abner explodes and essentially says, "Why am I be treating like this after all I've done?" He says, "I did this. I sacrificed this. You owe me." And I want you to remember this because grace does not keep a ledger. That's what pride does. And so this is what Abner says. Verse 9. So do God to Abraham and more also except as the Lord hath sworn to David. Ho there you go. That's how you knew that Abner knew that David was God's anointed king. Dig this. Except as the Lord hath sworn to David. Even so I do to him. This is what God saying. This is what I'm going to do to David to translate the kingdom from the house of Saul and to set up the throne of David over Israel and Judah from Dan to Basheba. He not only knew what God had promised him, he knew verbatim what God had promised him. And he's still fighting for Saul. And he gets all sensitive because somebody's calling him out for yet another thing. Abna knew all along. He knew it. Reread verse six. And it came to pass while there was war, Abner made himself strong for the house of Saul. While he was making more, he knew that God's plan was David. So here's what Abnner did. He spent and this conflict it took years. So Abner is spending years fighting against what he already knew that God had ordained. That's frightening. It is possible to know something intellectually while still resisting it personally. But people do this spiritually all the time. We know we should forgive, yet we hold on to bitterness. We know areas where God is calling us, but we resist the surrender. We know grace is real, but we cling to shame. Abner knew, but y'all knowing and yielding are different things. And there is a a difference between awareness and obedience. So let's skip down to verse 12. Verse 12 through 21. Abnner Abnner is going to come to David. And it says, "And Abnner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, "Whose is the land? Saying also, make thy league with me, and behold, my hand shall be with thee to bring all Israel unto thee." And he says, "This is David." Well, I will make my league with thee, but one thing I require of thee, and that is, thou shalt not see my face except thou first bring me Mikuel, Saul's daughter, which thou comest to see my face. So, here's what's going on. Abner approaches David to broke her peace, and David agrees, but he has a condition. Bring me Muel. Now, y'all may remember that Muel was Saul's daughter, David's former wife, this got emotionally complicated because when Saul got jealous and kicked David out, and Muel had at once loved David deeply. She had even helped save his life if you remember. But Saul later gave her to another man. So, this is what David's saying. He's saying, "I want her back." And and there's political implications here certainly because restoring Saul's daughter to David also restored his legitimacy for some people, but there's also tragedy in the midst here. Let's keep on going. Verse 14. And David sent messengers to Ishbasheth Saul's son, saying, "Deliver me my wife Michael, which espouseed to me for 100 foreskins of the Philistines." Like anybody's going to forget that. Hey, you got my sister for 104 skins. That's weird. And Ishbashef sent and took her dig it from her husband even from Fatil the son of Leash. And her husband went along with her weeping behind her to Biru him. Then said Nabar unto him, "Go return." and he returned. So verse 16 tells us something about Mikuel. She was married. They said, "You got to go back to David." And the man she was married to says, went along weeping behind her. And it's one of the saddest little verses in this chapter. The Bible is so remarkably honest about human pain. Sometimes scripture gives us little re windows into broken hearts without fully explaining everything. And I appreciate that because the Bible doesn't present humanity as a fairy tale. It presents real people with real problems living inside difficult realities. And this is why I trust the Bible because it doesn't sanitize humanity. Heroes are flawed. Victories are messy. Relationships are complicated. And God keeps working with us. Ha. So God works through imperfect people and imperfect situations while accomplishing his perfect purposes. So what Abner does is he gathers Israel together and he tells them, "Okay y'all, it's time to make David king."

But Abnner already knew this. And sometimes the hardest surrender is the one that you delay.

And when you do that, delayed obedience produces pain. How how much division could have been avoided if Abner the general has submitted earlier? How many family wounds persist because people wait too long to humble themselves? How many years are wasted resisting what God has said?

How many people died in this stupid war? Delayed obedience carries consequences too. But even here, grace is visible because David still receives Abnner's cooperation even though it's late. And thank God for that because if God only used people who obeyed immediately and perfectly, not a single one of us would qualify. Verse 22, and here's here comes Joab. And behold, the servants of David and Joab, remember Joab is one of David's generals, came from pursuing a troop, and brought in great spoil with them. But Abner was not with David and Hebrin, for he had sent him away, and he was gone in peace. So Abner had come, then he had left. Here come David and Joab. And when Joab and all the hosts that was with him were come, they told Joab, saying, Abnner, the son of Nur came to the king, and he has sent him away, and he's gone in peace. And then Joab came to the king and said, "What what hast thou done? Behold, Abnner came unto thee. Why is it that thou sent him away, and he is gone? And thou knowest Abnner the son of Nah, that he came to deceive thee, to know thou going out and thy coming in to know all about it." So Joab hears that David made peace with Abnner, and he became furious. You can't trust that guy. Why is why is Joab all up in his feelings right here? And it's partly because, if you remember, Abner had killed Joab's brother in chapter 2, and Joab just can't let it go. And David's trying to build peace, but Joab's still seeking for revenge. And there's kind of a profound warning here. One person can interrupt an atmosphere of reconciliation. Just takes one. So, here's what Joab does. He deceives Abnner and then he murders him. It's cold. It's calculated. It's very personal. Let's read it. And when Joab was come out from David, he sent messengers to Abnner, which brought him again from the well of Sarah. And David knew it not. And when Abnner was returned to Habon, Joab took him aside in the gate to speak with him quietly, and smokeote him there under the fifth rib, and he died for the blood of Ashel his brother. And afterwards when David heard it, he said, "I and my kingdom are guiltless before the Lord forever from the blood of Abnner, the son of Nur. Let it rest on the head of Joab and all his father's house. Let there not fail from the Let there not fail and let there not fell from the house of Joab one that hath an issue or that is a leper or that leaneth on his staff or that fleth on the sword or that lacketh bread." And so Joab and Abashai, his brother slew Adnner because he had slain the brother, their brother Ashel and Gibian in the battle. So here's what Joab believed. He believed revenge. Here's what Joab believed. He believed that with revenge would heal his grief. But y'all, revenge never heals grief. Revenge spreads it. And there's one reason why scripture repeatedly warns against vengeance be because bitterness multiplies casualties and act becomes tin. One wound becomes generational. One act of retaliation bursts another ones. You see it in nations. You see it in churches. You see it in politics. And human history is filled with people trying to cure pain through vengeance. And it never works. Only grace will break the cycle. Only forgiveness can stop the escalation. Only mercy interrupts retaliation. It says verse 28, "And afterwards when David heard it, he said, I and my my kingdom are guiltless." And I want you to notice something. David had nothing to do with this murder. In fact, David publicly condemns it. And that matters because David understood something that Joab did not. You You cannot build God's kingdom through fleshly violence or personal vengeance.

You cannot build God's kingdom through fleshly violence or personal vengeance.

at some point. This nation has to get over January 6 and we have to move forward. And it requires people on both that political issue to put aside vengeance in favor of mercy, grace, and forgiveness. And there are some today trying to accomplish spiritual purposes through worldly weapons, manipulation, humiliation, anger, control. But the kingdom of God advances differently. Jesus did not conquer through revenge. He conquered through a cross. Let's go to verse 31 and finish out. And David said unto Joash and all the people that with him with him, "Rend your clothes, gird you with sackcloth, and mourn before Abnner." And King David himself followed the beer. And they buried Abnner in Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abnner, and all the people wept. So the chapter starts to slow down dramatically. David's demanding and commanding his people to mourn for Abnner. And verse 32 said, "And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abnner." So David's crying publicly, honestly, and all wept with him. About David, I appreciate this about David. It's his emotional openness. David was a warrior, yet he wept frequently. in our culture sometimes, not as much as it used to, but it kind of treats emotional vulnerability as a weakness, especially in men. But scripture often treats it honestly because David is not emotionally numb. He's not pretending. He's not posturing. He's grieving here. And grief matters to us because people in the church are carrying pain that they never process.

People are in the church carrying pain they never process because they think faith means suppressing the emotion. But biblical faith is not emotional denial. It is okay to fall apart. Jesus wept. Jeremiah wept. Peter wept. David is weeping. And sometimes these tears are not evidence of a weak faith. Sometimes they're evidence of a tender heart. And it says verse 33, and the king lamented over Abner and he said, did Abner as a fool die? That's what this means is is Abnner didn't desire Abnner didn't deserve to die this kind of death. He was he was trapped by somebody else's bitterness. Did Abnner as a fool dieth? He he was trapped by somebody else's bitterness. So David fasted publicly and the people took notice because they saw that David was genuinely mourning. And David's integrity becomes visible through his response.

I learned more in the trials that I tried and the ones that I lost than the ones that I won. Because when I win a trial, it's because I'm brilliant, right? But, you know, when I lose a trial, um, I would go to the jury and I go, "What worked? What didn't work?" And it was in those moments I'm like, "Okay, click, click, click." I never did that when I won because I'm brilliant, you know, just tell you. But when I lost, I actually humbled myself and and talked to the jury. And I didn't always agree with them, but at least it was a learning experience, and I have a greater appreciation for how other people saw my evidence. But I say that because if you're in leadership, how you respond to grief is just as important as how you respond to the good times. Leadership is often revealed more clearly in grief than in victory. because anybody can celebrate. But character really appears in sorrow. And then David says something that fascinating. And if I've lost your attention, give it back to me because we're about to land this plane. And oh my goodness, this is good. Get your Bibles out. Verse 38. And the king, this is David. And the king said to his servants, this is David talking. Know ye not that there is a prince and a great man fallen this day in Israel? Verse 39. And I am this day weak, though anointed king. Let's stop because that line might be one of the most relatable statements in David's entire life. I am weak, though anointed king. Have you ever felt that tension?

because every single one of you is anointed by God. 2 Corinthians 2:21 says, "Now he which is establishes us with you in Christ hath anointed us, that's God, who hath also sealed us and given us the earnest of the spirit in our hearts. Every one of you is as anointed as David." And this was David's question. David's question was, "I am weak, though I am anointed." Have you ever felt that tension? You're loved by God, yet you're exhausted. You're called, but you're overwhelmed. You're anointed, but you're grieving. You're faithful, but you're tired. David is still king, and he's still hurting, and he's still vulnerable, and he's still emotionally burdening. And honestly, there's comfort in that because some of God's children feel guilty for being weary. And they think, "If only I trusted God enough. If only I could speak my best life now, I'd never struggle." But this is what David said, "A man after God's own heart. Though I am anointed, I am weak. And the presence of weakness does not cancel the presence of God. The presence of weakness does not count cancel the presence of God." This is what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 2:10. Though I am weak, I am strong because grace shines brightest where human strength fails. So 2 Samuel chapter 3 is about a kingdom slowly coming together while people are simultaneously falling apart. This is a chapter where there is political progress and personal pain, victories and funerals, unity and betrayal, growth and grief. And honestly, this is life. God's purpose keep moving forward even while these humans are stumbling through weakness and conflict. And that doesn't excuse any of the sin. Joab's actions were evil. Abnner's delay called damage. Saul's house resisted God. Yet God's grace kept moving forward through the chaos. And this is one of the greatest themes of scripture. Human brokenness never outruns divine sovereignty and grace. And so perhaps the greatest encouragement from this chapter is that God is still working while the war continues. Maybe your family feels divided. Maybe your grief still lingers. Maybe your prayers feel unanswered. Maybe your heart feels tired. But do not miss what verse one teaches us. David, David grew stronger and stronger. And maybe that's your story today. If you'd like to follow us, we followed Christ and join with us. We give you that chance as we stand in him

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